Sorry I Ghosted You … I Was Isolating
Yes, yes I know, it’s been a minute since my last post. I was doing so well with posting once a week and not missing. To be honest that is probably the longest I have lasted with a commitment. I really have no valid reason why I didn’t post. I mean as you can read by the title, I was isolating. You know that thing us people with anxiety must do after a social event to recharge. Well for me this time it lasted 2 weeks. Why you might ask? (and if you didn’t then this is awkward) keep on reading to find out why I needed a two-week recovery time from the world.
Firstly, it wasn’t just one isolated event that caused me to disappear socially. It was a chain of events … more like the constant need for me to be out and about and being social. If your confused I mean I had so many commitments to do these last few weeks that required me to keep moving and not have a real social break to recharge in between. As I am writing this is the first time that I got that opportunity. If you’ve read any of my last posts, I might have mentioned how I was going back to university and trying to get my degree (I say might have because I honestly have no recollection). Well part of that is going back to campus to attend classes. I usually do online classes, but I had a deal with my parents (since they are funding my school) that I have to go to at least 1 or 2 in person classes. Might not seem like such an issue for most people. But for me and my anxiety riddled ass … it was a lot to ask. I didn’t fight this obviously but it’s been a struggle to say the least. I did manage to wiggle my way out of attending every class and still getting all the points (if you have bad social anxiety like me you can talk to your university’s health department to work with professors). Unfortunately, I am the type of person who needs to be in class during the lectures to really learn. So, I learned the hard way after a test that I didn’t do so well on that I needed to attend more classes. That was a really long and roundabout way of saying I have been going to my in-person class more often and its stressing me out.
I also had some family come into town and my presence was needed at some places that I really didn’t want to go too. That being said I didn’t really have the time period I needed to fully recover from all these social events. They are also back to back; I didn’t have any time to breathe in between. On top of that my classes have so much work this semester and I am drowning in work. Other than that, we are doing swell…
I don’t know about you, but I need at least 1 to 2 full days of being by myself in a stress-free environment to fully recover and feel happy enough to go back outside. Like I said, with this and all my homework the idea of even trying to write a blog post and write one on time was really stressing me out. I just decided to not make a post for a week or two because if I forced myself to make one then I would be taking the joy out of this blog. Which is one of the main reasons I started it. I wanted to make a safe place for people like me who have social anxiety where we can talk freely without any fears. I was getting that feeling in my chest when I get really anxious when I was thinking about keeping up with my posting schedule. I figured well you know no one really reads these anyways so who cares, my mental health matters more.
I finally put myself first, which is something I have always struggled with. So, I think this whole blog thing is actually working for me and helping me grow my confidence. This is going to be a short post because I did get my time to myself, but I am still mentally drained. This is all I got in me right now so you’re going to have to work with this.
- airry